Staying Hopeful during Trying Times

“If you believe you deserve it the universe will serve it”

Replacing expectation with hope is key during tough times. 

Have you ever had that one friend call you insisting to go out? but all you want to do is drown in your misery alone.  You are refusing with all your might but you know the only way to shut her up is by giving in. Deep down you know she’s right – you should get out and shake it off. So you do.. by fighting your way through it all and at the end of the night you’re so glad you did because as it turns out that was one of the best nights you’ve ever had.  That is because when you have zero expectations magic happens.  

Keep the HOPE strong but the EXPECTATIONS low. For the most part I’ve lived with this understanding of life. The universe has proven time and time again that I always have what I need when I need it. It’s very easy to get caught up in the planning of it all and in creating a life that we to some degree built expectations.   So I think it is key to be able to distinguish what is a buildable goal vs a silly expectation. Basically anything you can’t directly control that you would depend on anyone else for is an expectation.. for example I want to go to the movies with a friend.. you call someone and they tell you sure.. I’ll be there. The moment comes and they’re stuck at work can’t make it.. You were first expecting to not be alone in going to see this movie.. so you reached out to a friend who said they’d be there but failed to – you were expecting company but didn’t get it. So you are naturally disappointed.

This happens a lot in life.. with relationships of all sorts. We put effort and time into relationships and sometimes even money — all the while expecting that our actions will grant us with whatever it is we are building up in our minds and it just doesn’t work that way. You do things because you want to do them, you should try to minimize regret. That is a whole other conversation. But yes, you do things simply because you want to do them not because you expect something in return. The universe in turn will feed you with what you need.

Here are 5 Ways to turn Expectations into Hope

  1. Differentiate between goals and expectations, sometimes we get them mixed up. For example, your GOAL may be to be settled into a relationship with an ideal partner. Well you have to seek that person, and you can’t expect that every person you date is it. You have to let things grow naturally. Never give up hope because anything can happen at any given moment. Put your intentions in the right place. Set your goals and create a life that presents the possibilities to make your hopes a reality. When you focus on goals and not expectations you accomplish things and get more out of life. 
  2. This is going to sound so silly and repetitive but communication is the only thing that helps eliminate expectations in a relationship. When two people communicate well there is a clear understanding of what the situation really means to one another. It eliminates confusion and establishes boundaries. One usually hope for the best in their relationships, but it takes time, effort and work to make them successful and sometimes they don’t work it’s part of life. Being clear about what things are at any given time is a great way to eliminate the disappointment that comes from ones expectations not being met. 
  3.  Expectations rarely align with reality. One of those reasons is because a lot of our expectations are built up fantasies that provide us with occasional comfort. Life is hard enough.. sometimes daydreams become reality.. we’ve seen it happen, mostly in movies, but in real life too.. occasionally.  It’s great to visualize, but live with purpose put your trust in the things that have proven results and your hopes will start to seem balanced. Shine a light on your goals  but don’t allow those fantasies to built up into expectations this one is where honesty plays a major part – always stay true to yourself.
  4. Focus on yourself. Life is selfish. I hate to say it. Ayn Rand was on to something with her theory of objectivism the more focused you are on yourself the less time you have to hope for things to happen because you are making them happen – a busy body and productive mind is sparking with joy – energy attracts energy the better you are at living and creating a life for yourself the better the energy you’ll come into contact so you don’t have to expect for things to go a certain way because they are always unraveling the way they should.
  5. Simply LET GO – let it go. Letting go sounds so easy but can be so difficult. A task merely impossible for some. Let it go, it doesn’t serve you. Let go of whatever thoughts don’t serve you. Why are you so certain things would unravel the way you expect? Life is random. Things happen. There is only a small percentage that you actually control all else is left to hope or dreams. Hope is beautiful it can carry you through the darkest moments. You’ve heard it before, hope for the best but expect the worst. Intentions are powerful. To hope but never expect is truly the act of freedom.